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User blog:Diet Mtn Dew/LADIES AND GAYS
I just had a big talk with Shan. Okay, so (omfg Sean I really do start all of my stories with Okay so), a few months ago, I decided I would leave the wiki when I reached my four year mark (which would be April 13th, 2017) cuz of course, there has to be a point when I leave. And as you all know, I just haven't been very stable ever since June and the whole thing that went down with my family and it just started spiralling down and I've been feeling so bad and I was at an all time low during March and I missed a lot of school. And then I started taking anti depressants and now I'm feeling a whole lot better. I've come back to school and I'm really enjoying it and having a lot of fun (ikr I'm freaking myself out). But, I do have a lot of work to make up and it is the end of the school year so I have a lot of big tests coming up, and I haven't really been on this wiki for a while now and I only come on maybe once a week and during my periods of absences I sort of realized that I don't miss the wiki while I'm not here, which was not the case when I left (for a day smh I'm weak) back in August. And when I do come and visit, I'm just really annoyed by everyone and everything and I sorta can't wait to get an excuse to leave idek. But yeah, basically, I've concluded that the wiki's messed me up, from fucking up my sleeping schedule to fucking me up emotionally and just making me do some insane things (well, nothing too drastic, but I mean c'mon, I literally have a crush on someone who I've never even met in real life, that's literally psycho), and of course I don't blame any of you guys for it, you all know how much I love you, but I think that the reason why I connected to all of you so much over the summer (because even though I've been a member since 2013 I was barely ever on) is because my family was falling apart so I found another family and I bonded with you guys in crazy ways that I never thought I could, and you made me feel good and when I tried to leave, it was like losing my family all over again and I couldn't do it. But, as I've said, I'm feeling better now. I've just made the decision to go on a hiatus, at least until school is over. I might visit like here and there, but I probably won't. And then idk, I guess we'll see what happens once school ends and if I'll come back full time or not, and I know you guys might think that this is an impulsive decision or that I won't be able to stay away, but trust me, this is not like back when I made a split second decision to leave, this is something that I've been strongly thinking about for weeks now and that other people from the wiki have advised me to do. That being said, I really do love all of you guys and I appreciate everything you've done for me, but I can't neglect my real life friends and family because of you (a few months ago I literally cancelled plans with friends to watch Melfest with Deli). I also have another reason that only Deli knows about and I mean if you wanna know what it is just ask me on Skype or whatever and I'll tell you if I feel like I can (but tbh this isn't something that I could tell anyone but Deli and maybe two more people). I just ranted on and on and I'm really sorry that you had to read so much but omg I hope I included all of the things that I wanted to say and that they make sense to you guys. I'm really sorry if I've ever hurt you in any way or annoyed you or made you angry or sad or anything and I think that I always tried a bit too hard to get you guys to like me, because in real life I'm so much calmer and a lot more innocent (hard to believe, I know), and just a nicer person in general (I'm actually a lot like Hannah if you were to meet me in real life) and yeah, I'm not the psychotic horny bitch that I present myself as (again, hard to believe). I'm probably gonna cringe really hard at this blog post the next time I read it. And to end this, this is not goodbye, you will talk to me again, and I have many of you added on Skype, Facebook or Snapchat and you can always contact me there (preferably Snapchat cuz I'm literally obsessed with that thing and I'm like never on Skype or Facebook), so if you want a sweet, sweet taste of this Croatian thang, hit me up ;) Omg jk please don't. Unless you want a normal conversation, then please do. I love you sluts ♡ EDIT: I had a talk with Deli now, and I realized that just going on a full on absence was in fact a rash decision so I'll still come on until school ends, but way less, and I'm keeping this blog up so that you can all know how I feel and that I am feeling so much better mentally. And yeah, I planned on just leaving until Summer and then coming on occasionally, but instead I'll come on occasionally now and come back full time in the Summer so yay. Sorry for the inconvenience lmao but I'm a super impulsive person obvi and this should just stay up cuz I wanna warn you guys that something can happen that will make me wanna leave again cuz I'm a POS and yeah as I've said you should all know that I feel like this cuz honestly I don't wanna come to chat and pretened that everything is okay and normal cuz it's not and now that I feel better in RL, I don't feel as good here. Category:Blog posts